Do I Really Have to Forgive Them?
This week, Pastor Bob continued our look at the Lord’s Prayer by focusing on one of its most challenging lines:
“Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” — Matthew 6:12
At first glance, forgiveness can sound simple. We ask God to forgive us, and we forgive other people. But in real life, it gets complicated quickly.
Those are not small questions. They are honest ones.
Why Do We Ask God for Forgiveness?
Pastor Bob reminded us that Jesus teaches his followers to regularly ask God for forgiveness. That may raise a question: If God has already forgiven us through Jesus, why do we still need to ask?
The answer is relationship.
Pastor Bob compared it to a parent and child. When a child disobeys, lies, or hurts a sibling, they do not stop being part of the family. The parent does not stop loving them. But something in the relationship is strained. An apology and forgiveness help restore closeness.
In the same way, when we do wrong, it affects our relationship with God. Asking for forgiveness is not about earning God’s love back. It is about coming honestly to a loving Father and saying, “I was wrong. Please restore what has been damaged.”
We do not have to remember every single mistake we have ever made. We could not. But we are invited to live with humility, honesty, and a willingness to bring our hearts before God.
What Does “Debt” Mean?
Some churches say, “forgive us our debts.” Others say “trespasses” or “sins.” Pastor Bob explained that these words are getting at the same basic idea.
A debt is something owed. Spiritually speaking, our sin creates a debt we cannot repay on our own. Jesus came to deal with that debt for us through his death and resurrection.
That means Christians live as people who have been forgiven much. We are “redeemed debtors”—people who still make mistakes, but who keep coming back to God for grace.
Forgiven People Forgive People
The second half of the prayer is where things get even more personal:
“As we also have forgiven our debtors.”
Jesus connects receiving forgiveness from God with extending forgiveness to others.
Pastor Bob was careful to explain that we do not earn God’s forgiveness by forgiving enough people. God’s grace is a gift. But if we have truly experienced forgiveness from God, it should begin to change how we treat others.
A simple way to say it is this:
Forgiven people forgive people.
That does not mean forgiveness is easy. It does not mean pain disappears overnight. It does not mean what happened was okay. But it does mean that followers of Jesus are called to release revenge and trust God with justice.
Forgiveness Is Not the Same as Pretending
One of the most important parts of the sermon was this reminder:
Forgiveness does not mean allowing someone to keep hurting you.
If someone is abusive, manipulative, or repeatedly causing harm, forgiveness does not require you to stay in danger or pretend everything is fine. Boundaries can be wise and necessary. Consequences may still be appropriate. Justice still matters.
Pastor Bob pointed to Romans 12, where we are told not to repay evil with evil. Instead, as much as it depends on us, we are to seek peace and overcome evil with good.
That is incredibly hard. But it is also the way of Jesus.
How Many Times Do I Have to Forgive?
Peter once asked Jesus how many times he had to forgive someone. Maybe seven times?
Jesus answered, “seventy-seven times.”
The point was not to keep a forgiveness spreadsheet. Jesus was saying that forgiveness is meant to become a way of life.
Again, this does not erase boundaries or consequences. But it does challenge our desire to hold grudges, nurse bitterness, or get even.
What If I’m Not Ready?
Pastor Bob also acknowledged that forgiveness is often a process.
Sometimes we know what Jesus calls us to do, but our hearts are not there yet. We may still feel angry, wounded, or resistant. In those moments, the next step may be to pray honestly:
“God, I know I need to forgive. I’m not there yet. Please help me want to forgive.”
That kind of prayer is not failure. It is a starting point.
A Question Worth Asking
As we reflect on this part of the Lord’s Prayer, Pastor Bob encouraged us to ask two questions:
1. Do I need to ask God for forgiveness?
Is there something I have been holding onto, excusing, or avoiding?
2. Do I need to forgive someone else?
Is there a grudge, an old wound, or a broken relationship that I need to bring before God?
Forgiveness is not always simple, but it is central to the life Jesus invites us into.
We forgive because God first forgave us.
Scriptures Referenced
“Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” — Matthew 6:12
At first glance, forgiveness can sound simple. We ask God to forgive us, and we forgive other people. But in real life, it gets complicated quickly.
- What if the hurt was serious?
- What if the other person never apologized?
- What if they do not even think they did anything wrong?
- What if we are still angry?
Those are not small questions. They are honest ones.
Why Do We Ask God for Forgiveness?
Pastor Bob reminded us that Jesus teaches his followers to regularly ask God for forgiveness. That may raise a question: If God has already forgiven us through Jesus, why do we still need to ask?
The answer is relationship.
Pastor Bob compared it to a parent and child. When a child disobeys, lies, or hurts a sibling, they do not stop being part of the family. The parent does not stop loving them. But something in the relationship is strained. An apology and forgiveness help restore closeness.
In the same way, when we do wrong, it affects our relationship with God. Asking for forgiveness is not about earning God’s love back. It is about coming honestly to a loving Father and saying, “I was wrong. Please restore what has been damaged.”
We do not have to remember every single mistake we have ever made. We could not. But we are invited to live with humility, honesty, and a willingness to bring our hearts before God.
What Does “Debt” Mean?
Some churches say, “forgive us our debts.” Others say “trespasses” or “sins.” Pastor Bob explained that these words are getting at the same basic idea.
A debt is something owed. Spiritually speaking, our sin creates a debt we cannot repay on our own. Jesus came to deal with that debt for us through his death and resurrection.
That means Christians live as people who have been forgiven much. We are “redeemed debtors”—people who still make mistakes, but who keep coming back to God for grace.
Forgiven People Forgive People
The second half of the prayer is where things get even more personal:
“As we also have forgiven our debtors.”
Jesus connects receiving forgiveness from God with extending forgiveness to others.
Pastor Bob was careful to explain that we do not earn God’s forgiveness by forgiving enough people. God’s grace is a gift. But if we have truly experienced forgiveness from God, it should begin to change how we treat others.
A simple way to say it is this:
Forgiven people forgive people.
That does not mean forgiveness is easy. It does not mean pain disappears overnight. It does not mean what happened was okay. But it does mean that followers of Jesus are called to release revenge and trust God with justice.
Forgiveness Is Not the Same as Pretending
One of the most important parts of the sermon was this reminder:
Forgiveness does not mean allowing someone to keep hurting you.
If someone is abusive, manipulative, or repeatedly causing harm, forgiveness does not require you to stay in danger or pretend everything is fine. Boundaries can be wise and necessary. Consequences may still be appropriate. Justice still matters.
- Forgiveness is not saying, “It did not matter.”
- Forgiveness is not saying, “You can keep doing this.”
- Forgiveness is not forgetting reality.
- Forgiveness is choosing to give up the right to revenge and entrusting judgment to God.
Pastor Bob pointed to Romans 12, where we are told not to repay evil with evil. Instead, as much as it depends on us, we are to seek peace and overcome evil with good.
That is incredibly hard. But it is also the way of Jesus.
How Many Times Do I Have to Forgive?
Peter once asked Jesus how many times he had to forgive someone. Maybe seven times?
Jesus answered, “seventy-seven times.”
The point was not to keep a forgiveness spreadsheet. Jesus was saying that forgiveness is meant to become a way of life.
Again, this does not erase boundaries or consequences. But it does challenge our desire to hold grudges, nurse bitterness, or get even.
What If I’m Not Ready?
Pastor Bob also acknowledged that forgiveness is often a process.
Sometimes we know what Jesus calls us to do, but our hearts are not there yet. We may still feel angry, wounded, or resistant. In those moments, the next step may be to pray honestly:
“God, I know I need to forgive. I’m not there yet. Please help me want to forgive.”
That kind of prayer is not failure. It is a starting point.
A Question Worth Asking
As we reflect on this part of the Lord’s Prayer, Pastor Bob encouraged us to ask two questions:
1. Do I need to ask God for forgiveness?
Is there something I have been holding onto, excusing, or avoiding?
2. Do I need to forgive someone else?
Is there a grudge, an old wound, or a broken relationship that I need to bring before God?
Forgiveness is not always simple, but it is central to the life Jesus invites us into.
We forgive because God first forgave us.
Scriptures Referenced
- Matthew 6:12
- Matthew 6:14–15
- Matthew 5:23–24
- Matthew 18:21–22
- Luke 11
- Luke 15:11–32
- Ephesians 2:8–10
- Romans 4:4–5
- Romans 5:1–2
- Romans 8
- Romans 11:6
- Romans 12:17–21
Posted in Forgiveness, Forgiveness, Prayer, Sermon Highlights, Sermons
Posted in forgiveness, Forgive our Debts, Do I have to forgive, Forgiven
Posted in forgiveness, Forgive our Debts, Do I have to forgive, Forgiven
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